Captain Jack Harkness

  • Captain Jack: The last time I was sentenced to death, I ordered four hyper-vodkas for my breakfast. All a bit of a blur after that... I woke up in bed with both of my executioners. Lovely couple, they stayed in touch! Can't say that about most executioners.
  • Rose: So, who are you supposed to be then?
    Jack: (handing her ID papers) Captain Jack Harkness, 133 Squadron, Royal Air Force. American volunteer.
    Rose: Liar. This is psychic paper. It tells me whatever you want it to tell me.
    Jack: How do you know?
    Rose: Two things. One, I have a friend that uses this all the time, and two, you just handed me a piece of paper telling me you're single and you work out.
    Jack: Tricky thing, psychic paper.
    Rose: Yeah. Can't let your mind wander when you're handing it over.
    Jack: (reading the psychic paper) Oh, you sort of have a boyfriend called Mickey Smith, but you consider yourself to be footloose and fancy-free.
    Rose: What?
    Jack: Actually the word you use is "available."
    Rose: No way.
    Jack: And another one, "very."

 
  • Captain Jack: We could stick it in an escape pod.
    Computer: There is no escape pod on board.
    Captain Jack: Okay, see the flaw in that. I'll get in the escape pod.
    Computer: There is no escape pod on board.
    Captain Jack: Did you look everywhere?
    Computer: Affirmative.
    Captain Jack: Under the sink?
    Computer: Affirmative.

 
  • The Doctor: Do you mind flirting outside?
    Captain Jack: I was just saying hello.
    The Doctor: For you that's flirting.